IRL “Nice Guy” story submitted by mercurialink, thanks!
“So I wanted to share my Nice Guy story, since I love your blog and I thought it might be appreciated.
I was a freshman in college when I met J. We were in the same program in my school, which is geared towards pre-law students with specific interest in politics and community involvement. In other words, learning about the civil service system and politics. It’s an awesome program.
Anyway, there’s a guy in this class. Let’s call him J. J likes to wait until I’ve sat down in the class so he can sit right next to me - even when I’m trying to grab the seat between two of my good friends on the program. J even plopped a chair down right between me and the person I was talking to in the middle of a conversation!
Now, I should say that when I met J, we spent some time grabbing food together in the cafeteria. You know, chatting about Harry Potter, our shared interest in viral videos, general nerd stuff. I had no romantic interest in him at all, but I figured we were just meeting as friends, you know?
I was kind of blindsided when he asked me out. I told him that I wasn’t looking for a relationship, and that I wanted to focus on my studies (true), and I didn’t have the commitment to make it work. He pressed the issue saying he didn’t mind or whatever, and I eventually told him flat out that I wasn’t interested, but that I valued his friendship, and didn’t want to have a romantic relationship with him.
Anyway, come November, the guy asks me to spend thanksgiving at his house. I thought this was kind of weird… for a guy I’ve known for like two months, who recently admitted to wanting more than a friendship with me.
And then he starts getting me stuff, leaving it with my RA (who got increasingly annoyed at being the messenger for the boy she dubbed ‘my boyfriend.’) I was getting increasingly annoyed.
So I told him to back off. He didn’t. He started following me back to my dorm from classes, and I was started to get freaked out and wonder if I should talk to our professor or something, because this was seeming wildly inappropriate behavior, even by college standards. I went to a private religious school (not by choice), and was used to smaller, closer environments in which dating a classmate would be absurd - like dating a sibling.
At the end of the semester, I told him that he seriously needed to back off because I was severely uncomfortable, and had zero interest in any kind of sexual or romantic relationship. His response?
“But I’m a nice guy! Where did I go wrong? I mean, I got you all that stuff and everything, why wouldn’t you want to date me?”
Dear J: Please see points A-Z and kindly make use of your hand the next time you think that giving women stuff means that they owe you sex. Peace out.”